beginning of a 'accu-torture adventure'

today is my day 1 on Accu... dun wish to spell the whole term out.. cos its very disturbing to those who noes abt this drug.

was struggling emotionally for the past few years if i shd take it up.. now i've made my choice and i think its time for me to accept this challenge. its side effects are horrendous.. grrr

DAY 1: i dint feel anything unusual.. jus a little of a dry throat, i wonder if i'm plain paranoid. but i have to be mentally prepared for more 'horrible excitement' ahead. i should start to feel different from Day 15 onwards.. definitely..

another thing is i really really gotta adjust my lifestyle, which i simply hate. No more oily fatty food.. cos this drug will lead to an increased in blood cholesterol, blood triglycerides, may caused depression and liver failure, joint aches.. blah blah. every part of my skin/membranes will dry up completely which is - no contact lenses, must use lip balm, body moisturiser and i gotta carry along with me all day. my next visit to the doc will most prolly be a blood test to make sure my liver is still functioning... it sux to e core, but this is e price to pay for being flawless and perfect.

shall put up with it.. and see how long i can last.

The greater the adversity we encounter, the stronger we become. The more pressure we face, the more vigorous we become. That’s what it means to lionhearted.

Children of the lion
gazing steadily upon the future
you must know that those who are strong
are so because of ceaseless training

This training is to be found
in earnest effort.
And, just as the lion unleashes
his entire might,
whether the foe be great or small
so should you,
with sincere and untiring dedication,
challenge without fear or arrogance
every problem that stands before you.

Seriousness overcomes difficulties.
Seriousness makes the most of
opportunites.

A life of victory is to be had
through the steady accumulation
of victories won each day,
through total and unsparing effort.



~Sensei Ikeda

agony

i hate having a gate right infront of my door.
i hate walking along a back alley.
i hate not seeing/hearing noisy cars/children go by.
i hate seclusion emptiness and silence.
i hate that place for being extremely big.
i hate waiting for a min half a year so that i can get out asap.
i feel that i am banished to SISPEC (guys shd noe how tat environment is like)
although i dint experience it myself.
i hate to imagine the worst and e unexpected.
i hate being spaced apart from my plants.
i hate the feeling of helplessness.
i hate to see/hear sth which i dun wish to see/hear.
i hate to sleep in insecurity and fear.
i hate to return to that place everyday which i dun want to.
i hate to be distracted when i know i need to get impt stuff done.
i hate e feeling of fear creeping silently from behind.
i hate that place.