Ridiculous wishful thoughts

I've been thinking alot over stupid stuff like "can i change my fate"? The answer is

I Wish I can do it... Hopefully, that 'wish' will disappear and i shout 'I can do it!'....yet i'm troubled by doubts.

My conversation with Josie goes like: (may not be exact..i dont have a tape-recorder like memory)

Me: Should you wait for fate to come or create it yourself?

Jo: I wont sit and wait but I will create the opportunity myself...

Me: Make sense...

I left pondering over this for weeks...dunno 4 wat..maybe its the inner reflections i see within me. I wish to depart for a new life. Because i am sick of my current life.. .. In other words, i'm ready for a wedding..

Said easier than done, you need loads of financial and crap planning...HAIZ....Pictures and recent wedding events do affect me a little in both ways. I'm happy for all newly weds out there from the bottom of my heart .. they finally found their happiness..and yet melancholy at the same time...wish it will be my turn..