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Dear XXX,

I guess we are standing on different grounds. All along i used to think that you are someone who love others more than yourself..i admire this quality of yours. Unfortunately, you dont seem to be that angelic anymore. It really saddens me. We happened to discuss on our opinions on marriage life. Ho-ho-ho, i'm thinking too far ahead. But not exactly though since i'm approaching mid twenties soon, its time i shd start planning. You are someone with strong traditional values in such a way i dont quite agree with. I'm not condemning people who are traditional. Being traditional with an outdated thinking and depriving your future wife's happiness is absurd! You said you only want your new home to be at most 2km from your parents' place so as to take advantage of discounts from getting a hdb unit. You'll NEVER consider other places in singapore cos they are deemed as 'INCONVIENIENT' districts. Another reason is, it is 'convenient' for you and your wife to have dinner at your parents' place EVERYDAY after work. I know you inside out, weekends are not spared either. And if its convienient for you.. come to think of it logically, have you spare a thought for your wife when she wanna visit her parents (close to other end of sg). If that is the case, then must well just make her to live with your parents so tt you can save up your $$ on buying a new flat?!?! You said you strongly believe in this saying '嫁鸡随鸡,嫁狗随狗'.. hello!! this is not really applicable in today's modern society. I mentioned 'not really' cos, at most only a fraction applies. Women today recieve higher education unlike the olden days..you cant expect your wife to oblige to you all e time. I quote from Yanwei's post - "In this 21st century, women cannot and ought not be restricted and enslaved in so-called traditional gender roles anymore. Perhaps, marriage really works best if we treat it as a union where two parties have more or less equal say." A fraction of e abv saying still stands cos in my opinion men generally still hold impt roles in the family. Well, why am i so dissapointed by your comments is because you wanna fulfill your duty as a filial son and as a result deprive your wife from being a filial daughter. Mind you, your future wife is the only child of the family. How much her parents will miss her if that 'traditional' mindset of yours is stopping her from visiting her parents weekly?!? Because you feel that once a daughter is married off, she is considered as an outsider to her own parents? Goodness! She is not sold to you! Personally i feel that marriage belongs to only two parties and involving too much of one's family intervention will cause a great deal of problems. You want the best of both worlds, your wife and your parents at e same time. I'm sure you know by putting them together results in hell of conflicts? In the end who suffers? Its the husband who will be sandwiched between the wife and his mum. Again, i wld like to comment is that you feel there's no need to spare a thought for your wife..you dont believe in compromising cos you think once she's married to you..she is obliged to watever you do. You may be family oriented but with this kinda outdated mindset ..it is gg to create more misery for her and yourself. Well, i guess there aint many sg gals who can withstand your mentality. Worst to worst, you go get yourself a 'foreign' wife or program a robot.